Music Tastes: 7 Spectacular Insights from a Band Geek 🎵🎺

As a father of six with decades of musical exploration, I’ve witnessed firsthand how our connections to music transform over time while creating lasting family bonds. These are the essential lessons I’ve learned about how music tastes shape our identities and relationships across generations.

My Musical Beginnings: The Soundtrack Years 🎬

When I was a teenager in high school, my heart belonged to movie soundtracks. This wasn’t just casual background music—these symphonic masterpieces formed the emotional backdrop to my formative years. The original CD boxed set still collects dust somewhere in my basement, a physical artifact from those passionate days when I’d spend hours analyzing every musical motif and crescendo.

John Williams remains among my top composers of all time, a musical genius whose work transcends generations. If the name doesn’t immediately ring a bell, think of the iconic themes that have become part of our cultural DNA: the soaring adventure of E.T., the majestic wonder of Jurassic Park, the triumphant heroism of Superman, the primal fear triggered by just two notes in Jaws, the swashbuckling spirit of Indiana Jones, and even the unforgettable Olympic Games anthems that still raise goosebumps decades later.

What drew me to these soundtracks wasn’t just their emotional impact but the incredible craftsmanship behind them. These weren’t simple melodies but complex orchestrations that could convey entire stories without a single word. I remember sitting in theaters as a teenager, sometimes more captivated by the musical score than the film itself. The way Williams could communicate danger, love, triumph, and heartbreak through instrumental arrangements fascinated me.

My music tastes weren’t limited to Williams, though. I had a profound appreciation for all movie soundtracks, with James Horner’s work on Titanic holding a special place in my collection. “My Heart Will Go On” might have been the radio hit, but true soundtrack enthusiasts knew the instrumental pieces were where the emotional depth resided. “Rose’s Theme” and “The Portrait” could bring tears to my eyes—something I wouldn’t have readily admitted to my high school friends.

This passion went beyond casual listening—I even purchased sheet music for trumpet, determined to recreate those stirring melodies myself. I still remember the frustration and eventual satisfaction of mastering difficult passages, practicing diligently when not preparing for concert band or competitive marching band performances. That dedication paid off, largely because I committed to a consistent practice schedule. There’s something profoundly different about experiencing music as a performer rather than just a listener—you develop an intimate relationship with every note, every rest, every dynamic marking on the page.

Much like how I now advocate for the 10-minute cleaning approach that keeps our home tidy, I found that consistent, focused practice sessions were far more effective than occasional marathon rehearsals. Discipline and routine build mastery, whether in music or daily life.

Looking back, these soundtrack years weren’t just about entertainment; they were about developing an emotional vocabulary. These composers taught me how to feel deeply through their arrangements long before I had the life experience to understand all those emotions firsthand.

How Our Music Tastes Change Through Life Stages 🔄

It’s fascinating to observe how dramatically our music tastes evolve over time. The scientific term for this phenomenon is “taste freeze,” where our musical preferences often crystallize around age 13-14, with a second wave of musical imprinting happening around 23-24. Yet my own journey contradicts this research somewhat—the soundtracks that once dominated my listening habits have given way to a much broader musical palette that continues to expand decades later.

This evolution of music tastes parallels our life journey in remarkable ways. As teenagers, many of us use music to establish identity and belonging—whether that meant being the “band geek” with soundtrack collections or identifying with punk, metal, hip-hop, or any other genre that helped define who we were in those formative years. Our musical choices often served as social signals, badges of identity that told others, “This is who I am.”

What’s particularly interesting is how these patterns shift with major life transitions. When I joined the Air Force, my musical horizons expanded dramatically as I encountered people from different backgrounds with diverse listening habits. Suddenly, my soundtrack-focused collection seemed limited compared to the vast musical landscape I was discovering. Fellow service members introduced me to everything from country music that told stories of home and heartland to electronic dance music that created instant community in unfamiliar places.

Marriage and parenthood triggered another transformation in my listening habits. The birth of each of my six children seemed to correspond with a new phase in my musical journey. Sleepless nights with newborns led me to discover the calming qualities of classical pieces I’d previously ignored. The chaotic energy of toddlers somehow synchronized perfectly with upbeat rock anthems that helped maintain my sanity during those high-energy years.

This evolution doesn’t mean abandoning what we once loved—those foundational favorites often remain meaningful touchstones throughout our lives. My Williams collection still gets regular play, especially during family movie nights. Instead, our musical horizons typically expand to encompass new genres, artists, and emotional connections as we grow. Life experiences create new neural pathways for appreciating sounds and styles that might have seemed inaccessible in earlier years.

Current research in music psychology from the University of Cambridge suggests that our relationship with music tastes is far more complex than previously believed. While some core preferences remain stable, many people experience “taste expansion” rather than complete transformation—adding layers to their musical identity rather than replacing old favorites. This certainly rings true in my experience, where my music library resembles geological strata—layers of musical history that tell the story of my life. 💿🎵

My Children’s Diverse Music Preferences 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦🎧

The musical journey continues with my own kids, whose tastes span everything from animation soundtracks to pop to metal-core—a diversity that sometimes leaves me amazed that they all came from the same household. Each child’s musical preferences have become a fascinating window into their developing personalities, values, and how they process the world around them.

My oldest gravitated toward complex metal arrangements in his teen years, which initially concerned me until I noticed how the technical precision and structured chaos of the genre reflected his analytical mind and intense emotions. He could break down polyrhythms and time signature changes with the expertise of a music theorist, hearing mathematical patterns where I initially just heard noise. His bedroom walls, once adorned with Star Wars posters (another Williams soundtrack connection!), gradually transformed to showcase bands like August Burns Red and Periphery.

My middle daughter went in the completely opposite direction, embracing indie folk artists whose storytelling lyrics and stripped-down authenticity resonated with her introspective nature. She’s the family poet, so it makes perfect sense that she connects with music where words and meaning take center stage. Her discovery of artists like Phoebe Bridgers or Noah Kahan often leads to deep conversations about lyrics and the experiences that inspired them.

The girls surprised us all by developing nearly identical musical tastes despite their otherwise contrasting personalities—both embracing electronic dance music with its pulsing energy and communal experience. They’re our social butterflies, so music that brings people together on dance floors makes perfect sense for them. 💃🕺

My younger two are still in the formative stages of their musical identities, currently cycling through animation soundtracks and whatever pop songs capture the elementary school zeitgeist. I recognize the early signs of musical imprinting happening, watching carefully to see which sounds and styles will eventually become their emotional homes.

Their diverse preferences reflect not just their unique personalities but also the vastly expanded musical landscape available to today’s younger generations. Where my options were limited to radio stations, MTV, and whatever CDs I could afford to purchase, they have the entire history of recorded music available through streaming services. This unlimited access has created omnivorous listeners who might jump from K-pop to classic rock to video game soundtracks in a single playlist.

Rather than imposing my own tastes, I’ve found tremendous value in appreciating their musical explorations. This openness has created unexpected opportunities for musical exchange across generations in our household. I’ve discovered new artists through their recommendations that have genuinely enriched my listening experience, while occasionally I’ll see one of them adding one of “my” songs to their personal playlist—a small victory that always brings a smile.

Setting Reasonable Music Boundaries Without Crushing Expression 🛑❤️

As a father who values both protection and authentic expression, establishing boundaries around music tastes has been one of my more nuanced parenting challenges. I don’t interfere with my children’s music interests aside from certain types of rap that I find problematic—a position that sometimes requires explanation to other parents.

Some might ask, “Why not restrict metal too, since it often contains explicit language?” It absolutely does contain strong language, and you can’t eliminate that entirely, but I believe a line must be drawn when music focuses exclusively on glorifying drugs, violence, and objectification. Not all rap falls into this category—artists like Lecrae, NF, or even classics like Run DMC offer powerful storytelling without the harmful messaging—but certain subgenres consistently promote values directly contrary to what we’re trying to build in our home.

This isn’t about musical elitism or dismissing entire genres. It’s about recognizing that music delivers messages that shape developing minds. The research on this is clear: adolescents who consistently consume media glorifying risky behaviors show increased likelihood of engaging in those behaviors themselves. As a veteran who’s seen the consequences of certain life choices up close, I want my children to understand that freedom always comes with responsibility.

Similarly, some metal crosses boundaries when lyrics fixate on death, self-harm, or destructive nihilism, but that’s not what plays in our house. I’ve found that many metal bands—even those with aggressive sounds—actually promote resilience, questioning authority, and standing against injustice. The intensity of the music often provides a healthy outlet for processing difficult emotions rather than acting them out.

My approach evolved significantly after an eye-opening conversation with my oldest son about a metal song I initially found troubling. When he explained how the lyrics actually chronicled the artist’s struggle with depression and ultimate decision to choose life, I realized I needed to listen more deeply before passing judgment. That moment transformed how I handle music supervision in our household.

I’ve learned that regulation without communication invariably leads to resistance and underground listening habits. Instead, we’ve established a family culture where new music discoveries are often shared openly, discussed thoughtfully, and sometimes debated vigorously. The key is to engage with your children about their interests—music provides one of the most natural conversation starters for kids to open up about their thoughts and feelings.

These discussions have become valuable teaching moments about media literacy, helping my children develop critical thinking about the messages they consume rather than passively absorbing whatever comes through their headphones. I want them to ask questions like:

• “What worldview is this artist promoting?”
• “How does this message align with our family values?”
• “Is this authentic expression or manufactured marketing?”

This balanced approach—neither completely restrictive nor entirely permissive—has fostered an environment where my children feel respected as individuals with their own tastes while still understanding that certain boundaries exist for their wellbeing. More importantly, it’s opened channels of communication that extend far beyond music into other areas of their lives where guidance is essential but heavy-handedness would be counterproductive.

From Marching Band to Metal: A Band Geek’s Eclectic Journey 🎵🤘

My own love for music stems from my background as a self-proclaimed “band geek,” a label I wore proudly through four years of high school marching band, concert band, and jazz ensemble. Those formative experiences shaped not just my musical tastes but my entire approach to listening and appreciation. There’s something transformative about playing in an ensemble—understanding how different parts interact, how tension and resolution work, and how disparate instruments create a cohesive whole.

The discipline of regular practice, the precision required to stay in formation while playing challenging passages, and the thrill of competition all transferred to other areas of my life. These experiences later served me well in military service, where attention to detail and team coordination were essential. Band wasn’t just an extracurricular activity—it was character formation disguised as music education.

This foundation gave me an appreciation for musical craftsmanship that transcends genres. When you’ve struggled to perfect a difficult passage on trumpet, you develop respect for technical proficiency wherever you encounter it, whether in a classical symphony or a blistering metal guitar solo. The hours spent analyzing musical structures gave me ears to hear complexity and nuance that casual listeners might miss.

My personal playlist today jumps from Beethoven’s “Symphony No. 5” (where I still instinctively count measures before the trumpet entrance) to Rascal Flatts’ “Life is a Highway” (which became our family’s road trip anthem during a memorable cross-country move) to Bullet for My Valentine’s “Tears Don’t Fall” (introduced to me by my oldest son during his metal phase) without missing a beat.

This musical versatility isn’t about being indecisive or lacking preferences—it’s about recognizing that different music serves different purposes in our lives:

• 🏋️‍♂️ The driving rhythms of rock and metal provide motivation during workouts
• 📚 Classical pieces create the perfect backdrop for focused work or reading
• 🏡 Country music’s storytelling connects me to my rural roots and values
• ⛪ Worship music grounds me spiritually during challenging seasons

My trumpet now sits in its case more often than I’d like to admit, though I still pull it out occasionally to play alongside my children as they develop their own musical abilities. My youngest daughter recently started saxophone lessons, and there’s a special joy in helping her practice, watching the same process of discovery unfold for a new generation.

According to the National Association for Music Education, students who participate in music education demonstrate enhanced cognitive development and academic performance. My experience certainly aligns with these findings—the skills I developed through music have consistently benefited other areas of my life.

This musical versatility has become something of a family tradition, a legacy more valuable than any physical inheritance I could leave them. Music serves as both personal expression and shared experience in our household—a way to connect across different tastes and preferences. The “band geek” mentality—with its appreciation for craftsmanship, dedication to practice, and joy in collaborative creation—continues to influence how we approach not just music but life itself.

The Transformative Power of Quality Audio Equipment 🎧🔊

Our family maintains a shared Spotify account for everyday listening, creating collaborative playlists for road trips, workout sessions, and dinner preparations. However, I personally subscribe to Apple Music specifically for their superior lossless audio quality. The difference between compressed streaming audio and true lossless playback isn’t subtle once you’ve trained your ears to recognize it; it’s like comparing a photocopy to the original painting.

There’s something magical about experiencing music through high-quality headphones, where you can truly appreciate:

• 🔝 The crisp upper frequencies with their sparkle and air
• 🎵 The rich midrange where most vocals and instruments live
• 📊 The well-defined bass that you can feel as much as hear

The first time I listened to Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” through proper equipment was revelatory—suddenly background elements I’d never noticed in dozens of previous listens jumped to the foreground, creating an entirely new listening experience from an album I thought I knew intimately.

This audio journey began somewhat accidentally after a fellow Air Force veteran recommended I try “real” headphones instead of the consumer-grade earbuds I’d been using. What started as casual curiosity evolved into a modest but rewarding hobby that has enhanced my appreciation for everything from classical compositions to modern productions.

According to What Hi-Fi?, the growing availability of high-resolution audio formats represents “the finest sound quality available, far better than CD quality.” While audiophile debates about equipment can become technical and intimidating, even modest upgrades in listening equipment can dramatically transform your music experience.

With quality headphones, you’ll discover hidden elements in familiar songs:

• A subtle harmony buried in the mix
• A percussive flourish almost hidden beneath layers of sound
• Production techniques that reveal the composer’s true intentions

These discoveries breathe new life into familiar tracks, making decades-old albums feel fresh and exciting again.

My preferred headsets are the HD6XX—excellent open-back headphones offering impressive sound quality at a reasonable price point. They’re not top-tier audiophile equipment, but they deliver an experience far beyond entry-level options. The open-back design creates a more natural soundstage, making music feel less confined and more spacious. You can find them here: Massdrop Sennheiser HD6XX.

This appreciation for audio quality has influenced how my children experience music as well. While they don’t all share my enthusiasm for equipment specifications, they’ve developed more discerning ears than many of their peers. My second oldest saved for months to purchase her first “real” headphones after borrowing mine revealed what she’d been missing in her favorite indie tracks. There’s a certain pride in watching her close her eyes to concentrate on a particularly well-produced section of a song, appreciating craftsmanship that might otherwise go unnoticed.

Quality audio equipment isn’t about elitism or status—it’s about respecting the artistry that went into creating the music. Engineers and producers spend countless hours perfecting mixes, balancing frequencies, and creating sonic experiences that are often lost when compressed into low-quality streams or played through inadequate speakers. Good equipment simply lets you hear what was actually recorded, bringing you closer to the artist’s vision.

For anyone interested in elevating their listening experience without breaking the bank, I recommend starting with decent headphones rather than expensive speakers. The improvement in sound quality per dollar spent is significantly higher, and you’ll immediately notice the difference across your entire music collection., workout sessions, and dinner preparations. However, I personally subscribe to Apple Music specifically for their superior lossless audio quality—a feature that has fundamentally transformed how I experience favorite tracks. The difference between compressed streaming audio and true lossless playback isn’t subtle once you’ve trained your ears to recognize it; it’s like comparing a photocopy to the original painting.

There’s something magical about experiencing music through high-quality headphones, where you can truly appreciate the upper frequencies, midrange, and lows with remarkable clarity. The first time I listened to Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon” through proper equipment was revelatory—suddenly background elements I’d never noticed in dozens of previous listens jumped to the foreground, creating an entirely new listening experience from an album I thought I knew intimately.

This audio journey began somewhat accidentally after a fellow Air Force veteran recommended I try “real” headphones instead of the consumer-grade earbuds I’d been using. What started as casual curiosity evolved into a modest but rewarding hobby that has enhanced my appreciation for everything from classical compositions to modern productions.

The right equipment transforms listening into a journey of discovery. Sometimes, with a good pair of headphones, you’ll notice elements in a song you’ve heard a hundred times that you never knew existed: a subtle harmony buried in the mix, a percussive flourish almost hidden beneath layers of sound, or production techniques that reveal the composer’s true intentions. These discoveries renew my enthusiasm for familiar tracks, making decades-old albums feel fresh and exciting again.

My preferred headsets are the HD6XX—excellent open-back headphones offering impressive sound quality at a reasonable price point. They’re not top-tier audiophile equipment, but they deliver an experience far beyond entry-level options. The open-back design creates a more natural soundstage, making music feel less confined and more spacious. You can find them here: Massdrop Sennheiser HD6XX.

This appreciation for audio quality has influenced how my children experience music as well. While they don’t all share my enthusiasm for equipment specifications, they’ve developed more discerning ears than many of their peers. My second oldest saved for months to purchase her first “real” headphones after borrowing mine revealed what she’d been missing in her favorite indie tracks. There’s a certain pride in watching her close her eyes to concentrate on a particularly well-produced section of a song, appreciating craftsmanship that might otherwise go unnoticed.

Quality audio equipment isn’t about elitism or status—it’s about respecting the artistry that went into creating the music. Engineers and producers spend countless hours perfecting mixes, balancing frequencies, and creating sonic experiences that are often lost when compressed into low-quality streams or played through inadequate speakers. Good equipment simply lets you hear what was actually recorded, bringing you closer to the artist’s vision.

For anyone interested in elevating their listening experience without breaking the bank, I recommend starting with decent headphones rather than expensive speakers. The improvement in sound quality per dollar spent is significantly higher, and you’ll immediately notice the difference across your entire music collection.

Creating Musical Memories: Family Traditions and Shared Experiences 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦🎶

Beyond individual listening preferences, music has become a cornerstone of our family culture through intentional traditions and shared experiences. Some of my most treasured parenting memories revolve around musical moments that strengthened our bonds and created lasting impressions.

Our “kitchen dance parties” began organically when my oldest was just a toddler. What started as an impromptu way to make dinner preparation more entertaining has evolved into a cherished tradition spanning nearly two decades. The rules are simple: whoever enters the kitchen during cooking time must dance to whatever music is playing. This tradition has survived through all the typical phases of childhood and adolescence, even the “too cool to participate” teenage years. There’s something disarming about music that cuts through pretenses and brings us back to authentic connection.

Just like our family routines that create structure and belonging, these musical traditions have become meaningful touchpoints in our daily lives. They offer predictability and connection even during the busiest seasons of family life.

Family road trips have their own musical traditions. Each person gets to be “DJ” for an hour, introducing others to their current favorites while also learning patience and appreciation for different styles. These rolling concerts have sparked conversations about lyrics, prompted history lessons about musical eras, and occasionally resulted in surprising cross-generational appreciation. Watching my teenage son develop a genuine appreciation for Johnny Cash after my turn playing “Hurt” remains one of my favorite parenting victories. 🚗🎵

Music has also helped us mark significant milestones and transitions. Each child gets to select the “anthem” for their birthday celebrations. My wife and I chose special songs for each child before they were born that we still play on their birthdays—a tradition that initially embarrassed them but has become a cherished connection to their origins and our hopes for them.

Research from the University of Arizona suggests that shared musical experiences strengthen parent-child bonds and promote emotional development. The study found that “musical interactions may help parents and children coordinate their emotional states and build stronger relationships.” Our family’s experience certainly reflects these findings.

During my military deployments, shared playlists helped bridge the physical distance between us. Technology allowed me to create and share music from thousands of miles away, maintaining an emotional connection that transcended time zones and circumstances. Those deployment playlists remain sacred in our family lore—time capsules of challenging periods that music helped us navigate together.

Music as a Bridge Between Generations 👴👨👦

Perhaps the most meaningful aspect of our family’s relationship with music is how it continues to serve as a bridge between generations. My grandmother’s love for classic country introduced me to storytelling through music, a tradition I’ve passed to my own children. Her church hymns provided my first experiences with communal singing, teaching me how music can unite diverse voices into something greater than the sum of its parts.

Now, I watch with fascination as my children introduce their grandparents to contemporary artists, explaining new genres and production techniques with the same patience I once showed them. These musical exchanges represent something profound about how knowledge and appreciation flow in both directions across generational lines.

When my father-in-law, a veteran with traditional musical tastes, found common ground with my metal-loving daughter through their shared appreciation for guitar virtuosity, I witnessed the unique power of music to create connection points that might otherwise never exist. They don’t share political views, life experiences, or many other interests, but discussions about guitar techniques have opened doors to deeper relationships.

The Smithsonian Institution’s music history collection documents how music has served as a cultural bridge throughout American history, preserving traditions while simultaneously evolving with each generation. This pattern repeats itself in microcosm within our own family.

As my children grow into adulthood, their musical journeys will continue evolving in ways I can’t predict. Some may follow my path into performance, while others might remain appreciative listeners. Regardless of where their musical tastes lead them, I hope they’ll remember the foundational lessons from our family’s musical culture:

• 🎭 That authentic expression matters
• 🏆 That craftsmanship deserves respect
• 🌈 That openness to diverse styles enriches life
• 🤝 That music has unparalleled power to connect us across all kinds of boundaries

Your Turn: Share Your Music Journey 💬

What’s your favorite music genre? How has your taste evolved over the years? Did your parents influence your musical preferences, or did you rebel against their tastes? I’d love to hear about your musical journey in the comments below—especially from fellow “band geeks” who understand the special bond that comes from creating music together!